Kerberos Club: Strange Corners of the Earth

We saved Ireland!

Mostly.

GM: anyway back to starving Irishmen
GM: I can’t access the logs for some reason
GM: so
GM: refresh my mems
Julian Carey: Birthing happened.
Dexter Maskelyne: We’re protecting the wee baby seamus
Julian Carey: Also baptism.
GM: the wee baby Seamus and mother are alive and reasonably well.
GM: But you hear an eldritch howling in the distance, joined by many more.
GM: Wolves! Of the supernatural vairety!
Julian Carey sighs, hands Dexter the baby, and starts dragging pews to barricade the door.
GM: (what was the mother’s name?)
Julian Carey: (Beatrice.)
Dexter Maskelyne: “Is it supposed to be sticky? Julian, why is it sticky?”
Julian Carey: “All the blood. That sounds like it will get worse before it gets better.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Werewolves aren’t normally found on the isle. Those must be marsh dogs; as long as we don’t leave the church we should be fine.”
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: “I mean, unless someone has found a way to harness and command them. Then we’d be in a great deal of difficulty.”
GM: Beatrice: “What the fuck is a marsh dog?!”
Dexter Maskelyne: “It’s a dog that lives in the marsh. It’s also part ghost, or demon, I forget which.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Don’t go near them. They bite, and do not let go.”
Julian Carey: “What are the odds that this siege will fear the sunlight?”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Quite good!”
Dexter Maskelyne: “…they also might have command over clouds. I misremember.”
Julian Carey: “Hmm. It’s an important question.”
Dexter Maskelyne: Occultism roll to remember exact details?
Dexter Maskelyne: That’s how declarations work, more or less, right?
Julian Carey: I think there you just spend the point and say.
Dexter Maskelyne: Holding for ruling, then.
Dexter Maskelyne: I thought the TN of the roll was based on how amusing/pita it was
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: Other Nick is asleep, I fear.
GM: I am not!
Dexter Maskelyne: OK, do I have to roll for declarations or just spend or what?
GM: You can spend a fate point tno declare they can control the weather, sure
GM: that…is not a spend I’ll resist
Dexter Maskelyne: That doesn’t seem like it’s helping me!
Dexter Maskelyne: That actually seems like it’s bad for us.
Dexter Maskelyne: But whatever. SPent.
Dexter Maskelyne: “No worries, I remember now. They can only control the water.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Shit, clouds are water, aren’t they?”
Julian Carey: “This is all dancing around the important information. Do we hold out till dawn? Or run for it?”
GM: Beatrice: “Run for it? Are you crazy? I’m not running anywhere.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Yes, have some consideration, Julian. The wee baby Seamus can’t even crawl, let alone run.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “He’d be eaten in MINUTES.”
Campaign saved.
GM: “His name isn’t Seamus!”
GM: She apuses. “Actually Seamus is a fine name…”
Julian Carey: “You’ll have to be carried either way, Beatrice.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Well I can’t pronounce Gaelic.”
Campaign saved.
GM: What do you do?
Dexter Maskelyne: “Well, I could levitate the church, although it would probably break when I set it down.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “You could just shoot all of the dogs, I suppose.”
Julian Carey: “Yes. But we’ve seen zombies and dogs. Are there going to be more?”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Or I could try to out-weather control them. Disperse the clouds before they can use them for cover.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “I’m going to be very disappointed if an even leprechaun doesn’t try to claim the child before the year is up.”
Dexter Maskelyne: *evil
Dexter Maskelyne: OK, I think I’m going to contest them in weather control, trying to keep the sun out so the marsh dogs are vulnerable to Julian’s bullets and/or fists.
GM: As far as zombies go, the village around you has turned into a zombie apocalypse scenario- it seems like a bunch of very hungry people are stumbling around. Undead.
GM: Be my guest! Weather control away
Dexter Maskelyne: [1d3+3d6+3 = 22]
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: OK, 22 on a blocking move seems like MORE than enough
Dexter Maskelyne: I think it’s nothing but sunny days now
GM: Welp, that handles the marsh dogs. What do you do about the zombies?>
Julian Carey: Violence!
GM: They’re largely unguided. Most of them are elderly or children, sometimes too thin and starved to even move. So if you move briskly, there;‘s mor eor less no threat.
GM: Beatrice: "Mother of God! That’s my uncle Tom! He died a month ago…how…"
Julian Carey: In that case, Julian checks to make sure they are actually dea . . . ok, sounds like that is taken care of.
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey: “Any way to tell who organized this, Dexter?”
Julian Carey helps Beatrice to the carriage.
Dexter Maskelyne: “Yes!”
Dexter Maskelyne: I’d seen some hex bags around before, same astral signature?
GM: Indeed
Dexter Maskelyne: I relay that to Julian.
Dexter Maskelyne: “If this invocation is fresh enough, I should be able to trace it back to the origin.”
GM: You’d need to make a roll of some kind to track the source. It’s a pretty Great challenge for a sorcerer
Dexter Maskelyne: Fortunately I’m a pretty Great sorcerer!
Dexter Maskelyne: [1d3+3d6+3 = 17]
Dexter Maskelyne: I’ll take it.
Campaign saved.
GM: The sorcerer is due south…far enough away it puts him into the Atlantic. Someone is on a boat!
GM: Or is a squid, I guess.
Julian Carey: Was it Sammy the Sinister Sorcerer Squid?
Julian Carey: Because that guy is a cock.
GM: No! Samuel the Sorcerer Squid is a fellow Kerberan.
Dexter Maskelyne: “Hmm, very good range. And we can’t leave the island.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “He must have an arcane connection to the church, then. I wonder if there’s any way of telling what it is. Beatrice, has anything gone missing recently?”
GM: “Father Cassidy was kidnapped.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “That would do it.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “I… I really hesitate to suggest this.”
Julian Carey: “I think this story has a grim end for Father Cassidy.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “But I think one of us should stay here to protect the wee baby Seamus, while the other rescues Father Cassidy.”
GM: “I’d already resigned myself to my child growing up without their father.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Otherwise it’s going to be nothing but zombies for the next eleven months.”
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey: How far south are we talking?
GM: Maybe a half-mile off shore?
Dexter Maskelyne: Not too bad, then.
Julian Carey: Oh, that’s not bad.
Julian Carey: “Fine. I’ll go.”
Dexter Maskelyne: I could try to put up a warding shield around the church, hope it holds until we get back.
Dexter Maskelyne: Or we can split the party.
Julian Carey: The latter!
GM: You feel the staticey tingle of a major working afoot, Dexter. The cover of the holy ground of the church m ight be important…
Dexter Maskelyne: Make it so!
Dexter Maskelyne: As in, it’s drawing on the sacred energies?
Dexter Maskelyne: Because we can profane this bitch up in a hurry.
GM: Profane that bitch up if you want!
GM: wait
GM: don’t do that, she just gave birth
GM: is probably sore
Julian Carey: Yeah, there was a lot of blood lost there.
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey tosses Dexter his pistol
GM: one second, must translate Indonesian
GM: which is not my strong suit
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: If it helps any
Dexter Maskelyne: “zakar” is “dick”
Dexter Maskelyne: And “Cthulhu” is just “Cthulhu”
GM: Indonesia is a silly place
GM: anyway, Dexter’s warding up the church, Julian is going for a swim?
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: Be nice to Indonesia.
Dexter Maskelyne: That’s where we keep our komodo dragons
Dexter Maskelyne: Yes.
Julian Carey: Indeed!
GM: Alright, I want rolls of appropriate sorts.
Julian Carey: Well, I got Move, Hide AND Skulk on one of my custom skills. So here’s Julian trying to quietly sneak up to a sorcerous boat/squid.
Julian Carey: [3d3+1d6-2 = 11]
Julian Carey: 11.
Dexter Maskelyne: I guess I’m just doing another Blocking roll with Sorcery.
Dexter Maskelyne: [1d3+3d6+3 = 14]
Dexter Maskelyne: Oof, 14 isn’t as good, but unless this guy is super kick-ass that should still keep any zombies outside.
GM: It’s a fishing boat, you can see two men standing on it. One is at the helm, keeping it steady. The other is waving his arms around as small arcs of energy bounce back adn forth.
GM: The zombies bounce right off the ward you set up.
Dexter Maskelyne: Shoot the helmsman so the wizard falls in the water.
Dexter Maskelyne: It’ll be hilarious
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey: If you’ve got a 19th century gun that will fire after swimming for half a mile, Julian would love to see it.
Julian Carey: Seriously. He’d actually be super into that.
Dexter Maskelyne: Do KISS-style “love guns” count?
Dexter Maskelyne: Because that would be an anchronism.
Dexter Maskelyne: KISS hasn’t been invented yet.
Julian Carey reaches up out of the water and grabs the wizard’s leg, pulling him in.
Julian Carey: Julian wants to drown a bitch.
GM: “Oh Moloch, grant me you…oh FUCK!” in the drink he goes, the spell disrupted, its energies randomly dispersed
GM: Dexter, your mystic senses detect a major mystical fuck-up in the distance. Someone’s gettin’ punked. The zobmies collapse to the ground, now just corpses.
GM: Beatrice: “Do you have any fucking idea who the fuck wants to fucking kill me and my fucking child?”
GM: The wizard truggles! Make a drowning roll!
Dexter Maskelyne: “Could be lots of people.”
Julian Carey: [3d3+1d6-2 = 6]
Julian Carey: 6!
Campaign saved.
Dexter Maskelyne: “I mean, there could be several different people who each independently want you dead, or they could have all formed some sort of coallition of evil. It’s a bit early to say.”
GM: Beatrice: " But why!?’
GM: The wizard takes a huge gulp and starts to thrash in panic. You get a good look at his face. He looks familiar somehow, but you can’t quite place the young man.
GM: The other one is standing at the back of the yacht pointing a harpoon at you, arm raised to throw, “Let him go!”
Julian Carey isn’t about to NOT murder a wizard just because some dude said so.
Dexter Maskelyne: “Well, if your son dies, the country will starve.”
GM: Then he throws a harpoon at you!
GM: You are harpooned!
GM: Take 5 stress
Dexter Maskelyne: “Now, I know what you’re thinking. And I’m not sure WHY they want the country to starve.”
Julian Carey: Defense roll?
GM: oh FINE
GM: if you insist
Julian Carey: [3d3+1d6-2 = 5]
GM: but I got a + 5 so
Julian Carey: Also a 5.
Dexter Maskelyne: “But I have to admit, if you want to starve a country, killing an infant seems a relatively small price to pay.”
GM: then I am paying a fate point to invoke this NPC’s “Old Salt” aspect
GM: take TWO stress
GM: and the fate point I guess?
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey: I’ll take a minor consequence of “Agh! Salt water in my wound!”
GM: yessss
GM: that is what I wanted to have happen
GM: Without a harpoon, he looks around. “Stop drowning him!”
GM: He grabs a boat hook and leans in to swipe at you wtih it.
Julian Carey grabs on tight to the wizard and tries to drag them both deeper.
Campaign saved.
GM: Beatrice: “How can my son be so important?!”
GM: Well, there’s a boat hook swipe incoming. Defense?
Julian Carey: [3d3+1d6-2 = 3]
Julian Carey: Jesus. A mere 3.
GM: well it’s better than the 2 I have
GM: so unless I invoke “Murderous Mercenary Fisherman”, you’re good to go
Julian Carey: Woo!
Dexter Maskelyne: “I’d rather not say. I don’t want him to get a big head.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Or you.”
GM: Beatrice: “I have a right to know! Howlongwill they be trying to kill him?”
GM: You drown the man and are now underwater.
GM: What do you do?
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey rolls his eyes and tries to surface with the unfortunate wizard
GM: The boat hook man is waiting. With the boat hook.
Julian Carey surfaces out of boat hook range.
Julian Carey: “. . . So. What brings you out here?”
Dexter Maskelyne: “A year.”
GM: “He paid me to take him out and let him do some nonsense on my boat.”
Julian Carey: “I hope you got paid in advance.”
Campaign saved.
GM: “I did.” He puts the boat hook away and extends a hand to pull you in. “Ride back to shore?”
Julian Carey drags the body into the boat after he is helped in.
Julian Carey: “Obliged.”
GM: “I’m asking no questions, and asked none. So there’s no need for any more killing. I was never here.”
Julian Carey doesn’t reply.
Campaign saved.
Nick2 (Dexter Maskelyne): Man that got quiet.
GM: sorry, had to get the door
GM: You sail back to the small fishing docks adjacent to the village. The dead wizard?
Julian Carey is being dragged along till Julian remembers who he is!
Campaign saved.
Dan1 (Julian Carey): Some people have memory palaces to help them remember stuff like this. Julian just has a duffel bag full of heads.
GM: It’s a familial resemblance. You could swear this guy might be Silverstone’s brother, or son.
Julian Carey tosses the body in a hovel before meeting up with Dexter and Beatrice.
GM: Beatrice: “What happened!”
Julian Carey: “Found the one behind this. He won’t be a problem anymore.”
Campaign saved.
GM: Beatrice: “Good. I hope he suffered. Am I safe now?”
Julian Carey: “From him? Yes.”
GM: Beatrice: “What. Is. Going. On.” She seems emotionally and physically exhausted.
Dexter Maskelyne: “I suppose there can’t be THAT many people skilled in… what was it? Geo-socio-something?”
Julian Carey: “We’re taking a carriage ride during which you will get some sleep.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “You want the best for your baby, can’t you just accept that we do too and leave it at that?”
GM: Beatrice: “Would you trust two strangers like that?”
Dexter Maskelyne: “I might. I frequently make poor decisions.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “It might also tip the balance if those two strangers had repeatedly saved me from an undead menace.”
GM: Beatrice: “Where shall we go?”
Campaign saved.
GM: Oh!
Julian Carey: “My estate. It’s a ways north, but I doubt you’d enjoy living close to here anyway.”
GM: Beatrice: “Your…estate?”
GM: TRAVEL MONTAGE
Julian Carey: “Mm hmm.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “It’s like a house, but larger. You get servants.”
GM: Sean: “As you can see, I have adhered to your instructions. The estate is now deeply in debt and I have no ideahow we are to pay for all these nonproductive…ahem…guests.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “Really I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t do it.”
GM: Sean looks at the lady with the baby and then at Julian, eyeborws raised.
GM: His initial comment however
Dexter Maskelyne: “I thought the entire point of having an estate was to BE deeply in debt. Don’t tell me I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.”
GM: is about the peasants that have not been evicted, despite the blight taking their crops
Julian Carey: “Fantastic. As promised, I won’t shoot you.”
GM: Sean: “Shall I take it going forward that humanitarian concerns trump the financial, sir? With regard to whether or not I am shot?”
Julian Carey: “Indeed they do, Sean. Indeed they do.”
Dexter Maskelyne: “So we’ll just camp here for the duration, then?”
GM: What do you tell Sean vis a vis newborn and mother? (i..e, do you tell him to hire an army of stalwart bodyguards…?)
Campaign saved.
Julian Carey: Something like that. Did Teegan come along?
GM: Did she?
GM: I believe she stayed in London
Julian Carey: Fair enough. I’m torn between keeping wee baby Seamus’s location obscure versus keeping it well guarded.
Campaign saved.
GM: Well, that’s that for the Irish Potato Famine. Take a…milestnoe, ro something

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